A Distant Feeling
by LiLSexiE1
Summary: Ellie goes to a party, no big deal right? Until she makes some decisions that will change her life completely in just one night. Please! R
1. Bad Choices

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi… blah blah yada yada yada  
  
"So do you think we should go?" Ashley Kerwin asked Ellie Nash, referring to Spinner Mason's big party. She took a bite out oh her ham and cheese sandwich.  
  
"I don't know." Ellie replied. "I guess so, I mean we aren't doing anything else tonight right?"  
  
"Right!" Ashley said. "So it's official."  
  
"Hey girls!" Ellie looked away from Ashley to see a familiar face.  
  
"Hey Marco," Ashley said cheerfully. "What's up?"  
  
"Nothing much," he answered. "Are you two going to Spinner's party?"  
  
"Sure," Ellie replied. "You?"  
  
"If you are then I'm there." Marco said, winking at her.  
  
"Well, I'm gonna go to the girl's washroom," Ellie said. "I'll see you guys in class."  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Ring! Ring!  
  
Ellie shot straight up in her bed. She had fallen asleep on her couch when she got home from school. She rubbed her eyes and headed for the phone.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Ellie?" it was Ashley. "Are you ready? Because I'm gonna come by and we can walk there together."  
  
"Huh?" Ellie said yawning. "Oh the party!"  
  
"Yeah silly." Ashley said.  
  
"I'm ready!" Ellie lied. "Come on by."  
  
"Okay, bye" Ashley said and hung up.  
  
Ellie hung up the phone and walked into her bathroom. She didn't really care what she looked like but she didn't have to look like a total disaster. She reapplied some black eye liner and pulled her hair back into a pony tail, adding some funky braids. She brushed her teeth and put on some lip gloss. After that, she walked upstairs and into her room and checked herself out in her mirror. She wore a white button up-sleevless shirt that revealed her black bra straps, a plaid skirt with black fishnet tights and black boots.  
  
Ellie put her hands on her hips and shrugged. This was as good as it was gonna get for now. She walked out of her room and downstairs and grabbed her house keys that were dangling from a hook on the kitchen wall. She wrote her parents a note, saying that she was spending the night at Ashley's, which she was.  
  
Ding dong!  
  
"Coming!" Ellie called in direction of her front door. She opened the door and saw Ashley.  
  
"You look great," Ashley said. "Let's go!"  
  
"Thanks." Ellie said, closing her door and locking it.   
  
The two girls headed down the street towards Spinner's house.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
As Ellie and Ashley approached the house, they could tell that it was already getting crazy.  
  
"Wow," Ashley said, smiling. "This should be interesting."  
  
"Uh, yeah." Ellie said, knocking on the door.  
  
The door opened right away. "Hey girls." Jimmy, Ashley's ex-boyfriend said. "Come on in we need this party to be a little freaky!"  
  
Ashley walked past him rolling her eyes. Ellie followed her.   
  
She looked around seeing no one that she knew until they walked into the living room where she saw Spinner, Marco, Jimmy, Paige and Hazel. They were all holding a beer in their hand. Ellie took a seat next to Marco on the couch. Ashley sat next to her.   
  
"Hey El." Marco said. "Glad you came."  
  
"Hey Marcy! I see your girlfriend is here. She looks good." Spinner yelled, he was obviously drunk.  
  
"Shut up, idiot." Marco shouted over the music.  
  
"It's just that, what's the point of her being here if all she does is sit there and look cute?" Spinner yelled. "Tell her to do something wild for once."  
  
"I can hear you." Ellie called. "You don't have to communicate with me through Marco."  
  
"Then do something fun!" Spinner yelled. "Your boring!"  
  
Ellie's foreheard scrunched up, partly from being annoyed and partly from being angry. She opened the mini fridge and grabbed a beer.  
  
"Ellie don't listen to him." Marco said. "You don't have to do that."  
  
Ellie ignore him and opened the beer. She started chugging it until it was completely gone. Then she slammed it down on the table.  
  
"Whatever!" Spinner yelled. "Is that all you got?"  
  
"Spinner, leave her alone." Paige said, lightly hitting him on the arm.  
  
Ellie felt her forehead scrunch up again. Then remember what else she had seen in the fridge. She opened it again and took out a bottle of vodka.  
  
"Yeah right!" Spinner shouted to her. "Straight vodka?"  
  
"Ellie!" Ashley said with a worried look upon her face.  
  
But Ellie ignored them. She unscrewed the lid and started chugging it. She almost gagged at the taste but she just kept going.  
  
"Ellie!" Marco grabbed the bottle from her. "What are you doing?!"  
  
Suddenly, Ellie had no idea what was going on, but she knew that no one would ever call her boring again.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Ellie!" Marco called out as she fell to the floor. He got up and grabbed her arm and pulled her to her feet.  
  
Ellie looked and saw the worry in his eyes. "I'm fine!"  
  
Ellie pulled her arm away from Marco's grasp. She snatched his beer from his hand and started chugging it down.  
  
"El!" Marco pulled the beer away from her and sat down.  
  
"What's wrong Marco?" Ellie said, sitting on his lap. "Why don't you just have some fun like Spinner said!"  
  
"Ellie this isn't like you!" Ashley said. "You should calm down."  
  
"I'm just having some fun!" Ellie said. "Why don't you stop acting like your my mother!"  
  
"El, I'm just trying to help you..."  
  
"No you just want me to be boring." Ellie argued. "I'm outta here."  
  
Ellie stood up uneasily. She felt dizzy but walked out of the room anyway.  
  
"I'm not gonna be boring anymore." Ellie said to herself, walking through the house. She headed for the staircase when she felt someone bump into her. She quickly spun around.  
  
"Emma!"   
  
It was Emma Nelson, one of the eighth graders at Degrassi C.S.  
  
"Ellie?" Emma looked at her with a confused expression on her face. "Hey have you seen Sean here?"  
  
"No," Ellie answered. "But I'll tell him you were looking for him if I do."  
  
"Thanks." Emma said.  
  
Ellie shrugged and walked up the stairs. When she reached the top she fell to the floor.  
  
"Whoa!" Ellie felt someone help her to her feet. She opened her eyes and saw Sean Cameron. "You okay?"  
  
"What?"  
  
Sean put her arm around his shoulders and led her into Spinner's bedroom. He helped her sit down on the bed.  
  
"Thank you..." Ellie said, falling backwards and hitting her head on the wall.  
  
"Jeez!" Sean helped her back up. He put his hand on her back to support her. "Maybe you should go home Ellie, you don't look too good."  
  
"I can't," Ellie said. "I'm sleeping over Ashley's right?"  
  
"Oh." Sean replied.  
  
"Wait!" Ellie's eyes opened wide. "Emma was looking for you."  
  
"Whatever..." Sean said, and quickly changed the subject. "Are you sure your okay?"  
  
"No." Ellie said smiling. She fell backwards again only this time she was smart enough to aim her head towards the pillow. "I'm okay."  
  
"Your out of it is what you are." Sean said. "What did you drink?"  
  
"Come closer." she said.  
  
"What?"  
  
Ellie took his hands and pulled him closer to her. She looked into his eyes. Ellie knew that he was supposed to be some bad-ass, but all she felt right now was warmth and comfort.  
  
Sean leaned down and kissed her.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Spin, hun, your party..." Paige said. "...it's getting lame."  
  
"No way dude!" Spinner argued. "My party rocks."  
  
"Spinner," Jimmy cut in. "She has a point. Lets do something."  
  
"Spin the Bottle!" Paige suggested.  
  
"Thats sounds fun." Hazel agreed.  
  
"Thats way childish Paige." Ashley said.  
  
"Is it Ashley?" Paige asked. "Because I think taking drugs, cheating on your boyfriend, and acting like a total moron is childish."  
  
Ashley's mouth dropped open. "Well at least I..."  
  
"Girls..." Marco interupted the fight. "Chill out."  
  
Paige took the last sip from her beer and placed the bottle on the table. "We're playing Spin the Bottle."  
  
The group were already in some sort of circle. Jimmy, Marco and Ashley were on one couch while Spinner, Hazel and Paige were across from them on the other couch.  
  
"Marco can spin first." Paige said. "Well, go ahead."  
  
Marco put his hand on the bottle. He knew he liked guys, but he wished to god that it landed on a girl, for his sake. Marco closed his eyes and spun it...  
  
"I knew you were a fag!" Spinner said.  
  
Marco opened his eyes and saw that the bottle was pointed directly at Spinner.  
  
"But I'm not kissing you." Spinner added.  
  
"I'll go." Ashley said. She grabbed the bottle and spun it. She watched it spin around and around and around and then it stopped. It pointed at Jimmy.  
  
Ashley and Jimmy looked at eachother.  
  
"Well!" Paige said inpatiently.  
  
Ashley leaned over Marco and kissed Jimmy quickly, she leaned away when Jimmy pulled her close again and kissed her passionatley.  
  
"Oooo!" Paige said. "Looks like Romeo wants Juliet again."  
  
Jimmy stopped kissing Ashley and gave Paige a dirty look.  
  
"What?" She asked.  
  
Marco looked at Jimmy. "Just don't ever do that again with me in the middle!"  
  
"You liked it!" Spinner said.  
  
"Shut up!" Marco said angrily. "I'm out of here."  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Sean?" Ellie asked, looking up into his eyes. "Will you ever break my heart?"  
  
"What, no." Sean replied, brushing a piece of loose hair from her face. "Who could ever do that to you?"  
  
"Marco..." Ellie answered, she looked at Sean's confused face. Everyone thought that Marco was in love with her, but of course that was impossible. "I really liked Marco a lot, and he had me thinking there was hope for a while. We aren't really a couple it's only a cover up."  
  
"You mean..."  
  
"He's gay." Ellie explained.  
  
"What did you call me?"  
  
Ellie and Sean looked up and saw Marco standing in the doorway, Emma was by his side.  
  
"Sean!" Emma cried. She turned and ran.  
  
Sean got up off of Ellie and went to follow Emma. When he approached the doorway Marco shoved him.  
  
"What the hell are you doing with my girl?" Marco said in a threatening tone.  
  
"Your girl?" Sean asked grinning, "Shouldn't you be looking for a guy?"  
  
"Fuck you!" Marco shouted, shoving Sean again, almost knocking him off his balance.  
  
"You wanna fight?" Sean asked, holding up his hands. "Come on then!"  
  
"Stop!" Ellie cried. She stumbled on her weak legs over to them. "Please stop."  
  
"Ellie just stay out of this," Marco demanded. "You've already caused enough damage."  
  
Sean grabbed Marco and shoved him up against the bedroom wall. Ellie ran over to them and tried to pull Sean off of Marco. She suddenly felt light-headed, and collapsed.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Ellie?"  
  
Ellie woke up to the sound of Ashley's voice. Where was she? What was going on? Ellie sat up quickly, realizing that she had a killer headache.  
  
"Oww..." Ellie groaned. "What's going on?"  
  
"Time for school." Ashley said, yawning. "I know I'm tired too but we have to go."  
  
"Wait a minute," Ellie said holding up here hands. "How did I get here?"  
  
"Um," Ashley bit her lip. "We walked?"  
  
"I don't remember coming here." Ellie added.  
  
"Well I'm not surprised." Ashley said firmly. "You were quite trashed at that party last night!"  
  
"The party!" Suddenly the night before all came back to her. Ellie dropped back down and pulled the covers over her face. "I'm not going to school, no way."  
  
"You have to," Ashley pulled the covers off of her. "Now let's go."  
  
"Fine," Ellie said, crawling out of bed.  
  
Ellie walked past Ashley and into Ashley's bathroom. She looked at herself in the mirror. She was wearing the same clothes that she had on the night before and had smudged eye liner down her cheeks.  
  
"Ew!" Ellie looked out the door and saw Ashley. "I'm jumping in the shower!"  
  
"Okay!" Ashley called back. "Just be quick."  
  
"And I'm gonna have to borrow some of your clothes!" Ellie said.  
  
"Okay!"  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Hey, if it isn't Miss Party Girl!"  
  
Ellie looked to her left side and saw Spinner. She rolled her eyes and brought her attention back to Ashley.  
  
"...don't worry about him" Ashley assured her.  
  
Ellie just wished no one would remember anything that happened last night. She remember most of what happened, although she wished she didn't.  
  
"I'll meet you in class," Ellie said. "I have to grab something from my locker."  
  
"Alright," Ashley said smiling. "See ya."  
  
Ellie walked with Ashley until they reached her locker and they parted. Ellie held her books with one arm and grabbed the combination with her free hand. 27-16-24. She opened her locker and grabbed her Media Immersion notebook.  
  
"Ellie?"  
  
Ellie dropped her books and froze. She slowly turned around.  
  
"Hi...hi Sean." Ellie said, tucking a piece of loose hair behind her ear.  
  
"How are you feeling today?" Sean asked, taking a step closer to her.  
  
Ellie turned around and slammed her locker shut. The sound affected her headache and she closed her eyes for a second. "Fine." She said turning to face him again.  
  
"Well," Sean said, stepping closer. "I was wondering..."  
  
"I gotta go." Ellie walked past him and headed to class.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~* 


	2. Starting Over

*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi..............there I said it........so you can't sue me! Bwa ha ah anyways...  
  
Feedback: Please r&r...if not I won't continue. There is no need if no1 likes it :'(  
  
Note: If anyone wants to join my Degrassi rpg visit my site http://www.geocities.com/simpleplan161 and sign up!  
  
ta ta for now!  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
It was the end of the day, most of the day had gone by smoothy...with a few stares and laughs. She was surprised that Paige didn't comment on her stupidity, but Paige didn't know the worst of it anyway.  
  
Ellie headed towards her locker to put away some things when she saw Marco at his. She walked over to him and stopped.  
  
"M-Marco?" She said hesitating.  
  
Marco slammed shut his locker and glared at her. "Leave me alone, Ellie."  
  
He began to walk away when Ellie grabbed his arm.  
  
"Wait Marco!" She pleaded. "I'm sorry."  
  
Marco stopped and turned around. "Your sorry?...do you think that is going to fix everything? Do you think that I'm gonna act like you didn't betray me because you said your sorry?"  
  
"Marco..."  
  
"No Ellie, it isn't going to fix anything. It isn't going to change the fact that you told Sean that I was gay and pretty soon the whole school will know. It won't change the fact that..." Marco stopped. He knew what he wanted to say but he couldn't come to say the words. He didn't want to admit that Ellie had been with another guy. "Just leave me alone."  
  
Marco pulled his arm from her grasp and stormed off. Ellie watched him leave. She felt helpless and horrible. Marco hated her, what was she going to do? Suddenly she saw Marco heading back towards her. Was he going to forgive her? Would he at least let her talk?  
  
"Marco?"  
  
"Don't talk to me." He said opening his locker and grabbing a book. He had only forgotten something.  
  
"Marco please just hear me out." She begged. "Please."  
  
"What do you have to tell me, huh?" He asked. "Because I already know what happened, and I don't really care why!"  
  
"Give her a break, man!"  
  
Ellie turned around and saw Sean approaching them. He stopped by Ellie's side.  
  
"Ellie didn't mean to do anything," Sean continued. "She was completely out of it. Ellie is the sweetest girl and she would never mean to hurt someone."  
  
"Yeah right," Marco said. "And I'm supposed to believe you?"  
  
"Hey believe what you want," Sean said. "But it's the truth."  
  
"The truth is," Marco said, raising his voice. "Is that she cheated on me!"  
  
"I'm sorry but she didn't have a boyfriend to cheat on!" Sean said, now raising his voice. "I know your little game Marco, and whether or not you realize it, what you did to Ellie was completely unfair to her. She was drunk alright. What happened meant nothing! So just get over yourself."  
  
"Well," Marco turned to Ellie. "It still doesn't change anything. You told him things that no one is supposed to know, not yet."  
  
"Oh don't worry." Sean said. "Your secret's safe with me." With that, he walked off.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Ellie kicked a rock as she walked home alone. She told Ashley that she was staying after school, but she just wanted to be alone. As she appoached her house, she saw someone sitting on her front steps. As she got closer, she recognized that it was Sean. Ellie sighed and kept walking. When she reached her house she sat down next to him.  
  
"What are you doing here?" Ellie asked.  
  
"I just needed to talk to you," Sean replied. "It won't take long."  
  
"Okay," Ellie said. "Then talk."  
  
"I know that whatever happened last night..." Sean paused. "Do you even remember it?"  
  
"Most of it," Ellie said. "Up until you and Marco starting fighting."  
  
"Oh," Sean said. "Well, what happened... it didn't mean anything right?"  
  
Ellie sat there for a minute. She remembered how she felt before Marco came into the room. How she felt warm and safe with Sean. She shook her head.  
  
"Right," Ellie said. "We can just pretend it never happened."  
  
"I can try," Sean replied. "But I will always be your friend, Ellie. Don't forget that."  
  
Ellie felt so confused. Did she like Sean? What about Marco? Would he ever speak to her again? She had to find out. She had to get her life back. It was time to start over.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~* 


	3. Does it Have to End Like That?

AN: This is going to be the last chapter since no one seems to be enjoying this...I'll continue if I get some reviews..........  
  
Disclaimer: Do you know how many times I have to write the word "disclaimer"! See there it is again. It haunts me, I tell you! It haunts me!  
  
Anyway, I don't own degrassi.......if I did....that would be cool.......but I don't!  
  
It was Monday morning and Ellie had just gotten to school as the bell rang.   
  
"Great," Ellie thought to herself. "I'm late."  
  
Ellie hurried to the office to get a pass for class. Right after she got one she walked to her first class. Ellie walked into Mr. Simpson's classroom and handed him the pass. He gave her a nod and she took a seat next to Ashley.  
  
"Hey El," Ashley whispered. "I was worried that you weren't coming."  
  
"Well, I'm here." Ellie whispered back. "Although I'd rather not be..."  
  
Ellie yawned and rested her head in her hands...  
  
"Ellie?"  
  
Ellie felt someone shake her lightly.  
  
"Ellie," Ashley said. "The bell rang! It's time for lunch"  
  
"Oh," Ellie said standing up. "I must've fallen asleep."  
  
"Um, yeah." Ashley said. "Let's go."  
  
Ashley and Ellie headed out of the classroom and towards the cafeteria.  
  
"Ash," Ellie said stopping. "I'm gonna put my jacket in my locker, I didn't get a chance too because I was late."  
  
"Sure," Ashley replied. "Meet you in the caf!"  
  
Ellie smiled and watched her friend walk away. She turned and walked to her locker, opened it, and shoved her jacket inside.  
  
"Ellie..."  
  
Ellie turned around to see Emma Nelson, standing there with her hands on her hips.  
  
"What?" Ellie asked.  
  
"I hope your happy," Emma said. "For stealing my boyfriend!"  
  
"Wait a minute!" Ellie said. "I didn't STEAL anyone!"  
  
"Oh right," Emma replied. "You were dying right and he was just giving you mouth to mouth rec..."  
  
"Emma!" Ellie interupted her. She started to speak in a gentle tone. "Emma...I promise you, that if Sean could take back that stupid night, he would."  
  
"But!"  
  
"Emma? Have you ever drunk alcohol?"  
  
Emma looked at her blankly.  
  
"It impares you, makes you do things that you would never ever normally do." Ellie explained. "Why do you think that drunk drivers cause so many deaths? If they weren't drunk I bet they would never have crashed their car, or hit that person!"  
  
"I know what drinking does..."  
  
"I don't know if you perfectly understand, Emma." Ellie continued. "Yes, I admit it...Sean and I kissed. Thats all just one stupid drunken kiss."  
  
"Ellie," Emma said. "I understand...but drunk or not, he cheated on me."  
  
"Emma Nelson," Ellie said with a faint smile. "It was just a kiss. But it meant nothing. Nothing at all."  
  
"But he wanted it!" Emma argued.  
  
"Yes Emma," Ellie said. "Your right! He wanted to let a relationship with someone who he loves be ruined by one stupid kiss! If your not willing to let it go, then Sean deserves better anyway."  
  
Ellie slammed her locker shut and walked away towards the cafeteria.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
As Ellie approached the cafeteria doors, they opened and Marco came walking out.  
  
"Marco!" Ellie said smiling. Then she remember that he hated her.  
  
"What?" Marco said, walking by her.  
  
Ellie turned around.  
  
"I really am sorry." Ellie pleaded.  
  
But Marco just ignored her and continued walking. Ellie sighed and shook her head. It was no use. He hated her.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
It was the end of the day, and Ellie was so relieved to be going home. She walked down the hall when she noticed Emma and Sean holding hands by the water fountain. Sean spotted Ellie. He said something to Emma and then walked over to Ellie.  
  
"Hey!" Sean said.  
  
"Hi." Ellie responded.  
  
"Thank you." Sean said.  
  
"For what?" Ellie asked.  
  
"Talking to Emma for me." Sean replied. "We're back together now. Thank you so much."  
  
"It was no problem." Ellie said. "I mean, what are friends for."  
  
"Yeah," Sean smiled. "I mean if it's meant to be then forgive and forget, right?"  
  
"Right," Ellie responded. She looked down the hall at Marco. "That's right..."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Authors Note:  
  
th-th-th-th-thats all folks! -unless anyone wants more- thanks for reading 


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